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Tim Gunn Book Signing:Â A Timeline

Saturday, April 28 2007. Climate: warm. Mood: slight hangover, overall malaise.

Mission: Book signing event for Tim Gunn’s (from Bravo’s Project Runway)Â new publication - “A Guide to Quality, Taste, and Style.”

4:53 - Mikey arrives in what we locals refer to as “The Whale,” translation: San Diego.

4:55 - I make a beer run. I purchase Negro Modelo and Pacifico, in honor of all my mexi homies.

5:02 - “They taste weird”… Mikey’s comments while eating the black bean and corn chips I serve him as nosh. I disregard the comment.

5:03 - 6:20 - Channel changing between the NFL draft, the Padres game, and a basketball game… cannot recall which. Mikey following the scores on his BlackJack at the same time.

6:22 - And we’re off. Destination: The Obelisk Bookstore in Hillcrest, aka Gay Town USA.

6:30 - We arrive. There’s no line at the bookstore quite yet. There is an unsaid feeling that we don’t want to be the first in line. He’s cool, but not THAT cool. We kill time in a housewares/furniture store next door. Don’t buy anything. Mikey shows me what he got my mas for ma’s day… “really? …cool.”

6:35 - A small crowd builds at “The Obelisk.” Mikey and I make our way inside to purchase our books, admiring all the boy-on-boy paraphernalia while waiting in line. “We should get that for dad. He was in the navy, right?”

6:37 - Waiting in line for signing. Tim Gunn has yet to arrive. Weird girl in front of us in line. Pierced lip, pasty, black coarse hair - dyed of course. Behind us: slightly rotund, jovial gal with her DGF (designated gay friend) in a fedora.

7:00 - Pre-teen girls at the front of the line start giggling and swooning. Tim has arrived.

7:10 - Flamboyant gentleman carrying three pieces of luggage, wearing leather pants, and a Marty McFly-esqe zip-up jacket/vest walks up to the line perplexed. “I’m just trying to get to the penises in the corner…” The people ahead of us tell him he doesn’t need to wait in line and can go in. He’s relieved. To say the least. A sample of the dialogue between the DGF and Chesty behind us:

Chesty - “He smelled.”

DGF - “Smelled like skank.”

Mikey giggles.

7:19 - Front of the line. Tim is wearing a nice suit with a large shiny forehead. His co-author is also signing books with him. Does anyone care abour her? Doubtful.

7:22 - And we’re on. Mikey and I aren’t making much conversation. “That one’s for my mom… for mother’s day…” *silence* We pose for a few pictures. Tim signs “Make it work. xox” Mikey doesn’t get an “o” in his, just two “x.” Interesting. Mikey and I walk out, clutching our new autographed treasures. Mission: Complete.

7:31 - Waiting at a red light, the flamboyant gentleman with the “baggage” and leather pants walks by. I tell Mikey to take a pic for the post. He laughs and refuses. Wuss.