Fart Sponge
Do you have a lot of gas?
Do your farts smell like dog fart or like the korean bbq you had for dinner?
Does your girlfriend get mad when you trap her in a dutch oven?
Then, you should consider a seat cushion that solves the problem of your stray farts. GasBGon is a flatulence filter seat cushion that claims to both absorb the sound of your fart and the odor. Using carbon filter technology designed by a fart engineer– er, I mean, an air quality and filtration engineer– the cushions have washable covers that come in interesting patterns and with amusing tongue-in-cheek names, such as “musical solo” (because that’s how farts should sound) and another in an animal print, called “silent but deadly.”
These anti-fart cushions have “removable cushion properties to dampen sound and a replaceable activated carbon material to absorb odors.” Blah blah blah, whatever. All I wanna do is does this shizniz work or what.
So I looked on amazon.com to read their oh-so-handy user reviews. And, I freaked out when I saw what I thought was “1 new and 1 used” for sale on their site!!! Who would buy a USED fart cushion?! Anyway, I was a bit relieved– and bummed– to see that I had misread it (it was just “1 new” GasBGon). There were a total of 19 customer reviews with 14 of them giving 5 stars. Christopher Wallace, the third user down, actually boasts as to having crapped on himself (gross) into the cushion without his girlfriend or dog knowing! Hooray for the multifunction GasBGon!
Oh, one last thing:
Malodorous gas is a naturally occurring event, obviously affecting some people more than others.
Why does “malodorous” sound like melodious? Ew.
